40 useful lessons that have served me well in my 40 years

My first time in Japan, 2023.

I’m actually about to turn 41. Last year, I challenged myself to reflect and put together a list of lessons that I posted on (back then when it was brand new) Threads.

I’m repurposing for this blog because it’s worthy of that (I thought a lot about these). They’re mostly for me so I don’t forget them but if they’re helpful to anyone, groovy. I also had the idea that I may expand each lesson into its own blog post to expand and explore those lessons. I may still do that but for now, here’s the list.

  1. Forgive people, past experiences and more importantly…yourself

  2. Travel lightly. The less stuff, the cheaper/easier/less worrisome the journey is. You can always do laundry where you are

  3. Sharing meals is more fun. More to try

  4. Drink flights are an awesome way to discover new beers, wine, spirits

  5. Choose your travel companions carefully. They can make your trip unforgettable (negatively and positively)

  6. Live below your means; save; invest wisely; spend your money with purpose

  7. Traveling changes your life because you experience how others live their lives, get exposed to amazing cultures, food, music, etc but more importantly you learn how similar we humans really are in the grand scheme of things

  8. Friendships and relationships can come and go. Some are meant for sharing a small part of the human journey, some are meant for longer. Either is ok. If they evolve or move on, accepting it for the moments had keep you free from resentment (which is toxic to your well-being)

  9. Creating is one of our most primal, innate desires. When we create things from nothing or remix current things, we can experience god-like qualities. Whether for solving problems or for the sheer play aspect of the creative process

  10. Knowing at least two languages unlocks the ability to reference concepts through two lenses, understand complex feelings unique to specific languages and gain insight into the full expression of cultures

  11. If you’re going to do something, do it well. Otherwise, don’t do it at all

  12. The fastest way to get depressed is to compare yourself to others

  13. The only thing we really have control over is how we perceive things and react to them

  14. In any situation, you will always have three choices. You can remove yourself from the situation, you can change it or you can accept it. Everything else causes suffering

  15. The more self-aware we are, the better our relationship is with ourselves, others and experiences

  16. Don’t ask questions you’re not prepared to hear the answers to

  17. When you serve others, you’re actually in a position of power. You are directly impacting someone’s time, experience, well-being, etc. Think of chefs, bartenders, house cleaners. Their offering improves the thing you came to them for. You were hungry. You wanted a good cocktail. You needed a tire rotation. When you serve others, you create (hopefully) desired outcomes and directly impact their state of being

  18. Gratitude does the opposite of comparing yourself to others. It makes you count your blessings and focus on what you do have

  19. Physical health is underrated. Sleep, diet, exercise should be our primary focus so this vehicle we call bodies does what we want it to do and performs at the levels we expect

  20. Always ask for what you want and negotiate. The worse thing that can happen is you get a “no” which leaves you right where you started and best case scenario, you get a version of what you want. The same applies to asking that girl/guy out

  21. Down time is just as important as productive time. No down time stifles creativity and leads to burnout

  22. Excellence is handsomely rewarded. People will notice, they will want what you offer and pay you for it. Even if it’s not something you get compensation for, doing it for yourself instills self-respect, pride in your craft and confidence

  23. Simplicity is hard to achieve but a worthy goal. With all the available information, it’s easy to overcomplicate diet, exercise, wardrobe, living, finances, relationships, etc.

  24. Dominating your self-talk will revolutionize how you move about life. You’ll be your best ally and be able to deal with experiences with a lightness of mind and spirit

  25. Trying (most) things once is a good way to keep you exposed to potentially really rewarding experiences. The obvious exceptions are those things that you can’t come back from, have too high of a risk/liability or the opportunity cost greatly outweighs any possible benefit

  26. The fastest way to meet new people in a new city is to join clubs around sports, dining, hobbies

  27. Material things can greatly weigh you down. For the stuff that you do have, investing in nicer things will make your ownership of those things more enjoyable

  28. Salsa dancing is a great skill to meet people around the world. Wherever you go is bound to have a salsa night and best of all, you’ll have dancing partners waiting to dance with you

  29. Whenever possible, outsource tasks you don’t want to do like cleaning, mowing lawn, grocery shopping, etc. It will free up precious time to do things you actually want or need to down

  30. Always get everything in writing. Offers, agreements, deals, leases, reports, everything. Documentation is your guardian. Also take pictures of your docs, car rentals, inside of apartments before moving in, etc.

  31. If you’re ever in a car accident where the other person is at fault (they nicked your car or rear ended you) ALWAYS file a police report even if you agree to resolve directly. It will save you from potential “they said, you said” headaches

  32. Get your teeth cleaned every three months instead of every 6 months. In conjunction with good dental hygiene, getting your teeth cleaned more often minimizes the risk of cavities or if caught early, minimal work done. And dental hygiene prolongs life more beyond your teeth

  33. Walking outside is seriously underrated. It promotes mental and physical health. It gets you out of the house and/or away from your desk/situation. It creates space for ideas and creativity to blossom. You get exposure to nature. It works a bit like a reset button

  34. When you really look at what the past or future are, if you take out the element of your human brain remembering events or imagining the future, you and your body are always here and in the now. The reason why that’s important is because if you’re stuck in the past, it’s easy to feel guilt or regrets about things that happened that can’t be changed. If you’re stuck in the future, it’s easy to imagine scenarios that may not become real ever. In the present, you are able to do, see, experience and apply lessons from the past to create a more desirable present and positively influence your future as it becomes your present moment then

  35. Who you surround yourself with impacts your life, actions, mindset and overall well being. Sometimes it goes beyond friends/family that may be in a different place than we are and thus not align with our intentions for growth, peace, love and living an examined life. This is where setting boundaries is crucial. Not easy to deploy but extremely important. If that leaves you w/o much of a social circle, surrounding yourself with good books, podcasts, documentaries can help while you find your life-building-and-affirming thrive

  36. Despite the fact some of the hardest things we go through life are incredibly painful, they present an opportunity to reset, reassess and level up. That is to say, while life may not get easier, we gain more tools and amass experiences that help us better face life head on

  37. Choose where to live according to your lifestyle, weather preferences, etc., instead of people. It’s better to have a solid personal infrastructure and be happy with than to move for a group of people who may just end up doing their own thing and move on anyway

  38. We’re the sum of all our experiences. Anything you learn can contribute to your ultimate goals. Either because the information becomes useful in a future setting OR because the act of learning something new teaches you how to learn new concepts and acquire skills

  39. I learned a concept called skill stacking where you accumulate skills that intersect with other industries, interests, etc. For example, I went to school for graphic design and wanted to design for magazines at a time where print was dying. Eventually after going through many freelance gigs, I ended up becoming a product designer which is at the intersection of design, technology, psychology, marketing and business. This aligns with my experience and interests and with this background, I can stand out

  40. The best money you’ll ever spend on, with the highest ROI, is your own education. Learning through courses, webinars, coaches, subscriptions is a powerful way to gain intellectual and experiential capital

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What I ate in Spain and Portugal

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Chicago: lots of water under many bridges